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Welcome to Thiefland

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Welcome to Thiefland

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Chibhorani Talk
With Sekuru Taurai

Fellow citizens, today I am welcoming you all to Thiefland which you can also call Mbavhaland. Yes, this is what our beloved Chibhoraniland is fast becoming, a land of thieves for the rate at which we are stealing is now alarming and has reached pandemic levels. In the new Thiefland or Mbavhaland people are turning into robbers, burglars, muggers, shoplifters, extortionists, blackmailers, swindlers, conmen, conwomen and heaven knows what other types of thieves there are who steal from their fellow countrypeople. Now according to the dictionary to steal is to ‘’take another person’s property without permission or legal right and without intending to return it,’’ and a thief is ‘’a person who steals something without the consent or knowledge of the owner.’’


The majority of thieves in Thiefland are employees in both the private and public sectors. You will find government employees from the highest offices to the lowest ranks stealing cash and goods. The same is happening in the private sector where people in managerial positions right down to the employee who is sweeping the shop floor or herding cattle are taking their employers’ property without permission or legal right and with the intention of keeping and using it in one way or the other. Many more thieves steal in different ways. We do have land barons stealing land to sell to desperate home seekers. Numerous robberies are taking place where armed robbers force victims to surrender something they would not have voluntarily given them. Burglars break into homes and premises to steal cash and other valuables. Bribery is another way of stealing and there is a lot of it happening on the roads and in offices. Talk of stock theft in farms and villages and you get a lot of farmers really sick. In our beautiful country you even get thieves stealing children to kill them and steal body parts for ritual purposes. Corruption is a way of stealing as it involves taking another person’s money or property without legal right to it and having no intention whatsoever to return it. Because of all this thievery our own Thiefland is currently ranked as one of the most corrupt or thieving countries in the world.
Now all this thieving is forcing people to secure their homes, business premises and institutions using burglar bars, call them thiefbars, or simbidzembavha, razor wire, electric fence, alarms, dogs, durawalls, CCTV, etc.

Vehicles are secured using alarms, steering locks, locknuts, tracking devices with some keeping their fuel tanks empty overnight for fear of thieves. At major shops customers have to submit their receipts to security guards who make sure that nothing is being stolen. I still remember the good old days when in the villages rickety doors were secured by a string and nothing else. However today in Thiefland we have to imprison ourselves in our own homes because we are stealing from each other. In Thiefland we now have countless security companies all meant to counter the scourge of thievery. The country is turned into a war zone as gun totting thieves exchange fire with the police. Mabhemba taingomaonera kuLowveld kwaaitemesa nzimbe. But now the bhemba or machete has become a common everyday tool used by thieves to terrorise, injure or even kill their victims. This is what we have reduced ourselves to in Thiefland, a country of thieves where people sleep with one eye open for fear of thieves. Who would want to live in a country of thieves? Unfortunately that is what we here in Thiefland or Mbavhaland are doing. Ndazvitaura, saSekuru Taurai kuti tisiyane neumbhavha for it is better to live in Chibhoraniland than in Mbavhaland.

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