BY ALPHIOUS MUGARI

Parenting is undoubtedly one of the most important and challenging roles in our lives. Parenting styles and the family environment significantly influence the development and overall wellbeing of children. This influence can be either positive or negative depending on the style used. Positive parenting has recently gained widespread recognition because of its focus towards the full development of children through non-violence, care, recognition, guidance and the establishment of limits. It is an empathy-based approach that involves techniques such as encouragement and problem-solving rather than shouting, hostility, shaming or leveraging rewards. The idea is to focus on a child’s strengths rather than trying to focus on their weaknesses. This article will delve into the principles and advantages of positive parenting which contributes to national development and reduction of juvenile delinquent behaviour.

Principles of positive parenting 

Creating a strong, warm, and nurturing relationship with children is essential under positive parenting. This involves parents spending quality time with children, showing empathy and understanding. Both parents and children benefit from this meaningful, happy, and less stressful relationship. Spending regular quality time with children and modelling good behaviour is by far the best thing one can do to help them develop self-confidence and healthy relationships. 

Radiating positivity and warmth through actions such as making eye contact, embracing their child, smiling, hugs and kisses is very crucial under positive parenting.

Positive reinforcement is another crucial component of positive parenting. It includes acknowledging and praising children for their efforts, achievements, and positive behaviour to reinforce desired actions. Ensuring that children get more attention for their good behaviour than the bad ones is a necessity. This encourages them to do more of the good work and maintain a positive self-identity. Evidence shows that young children are very responsive to praise, hence, words that are said to children at any age become their inner voice. 

Establishing clear, age-appropriate expectations for children’s behaviour helps children understand what is expected of them. It also provides consistent boundaries to guide their actions. Clear expectations and boundaries minimise potential conflicts and ambiguity. Parents must not be controlling or permissive and start working with their children.  Explaining the consequences of violating certain limits is very important. Children should be given attention and praise when they follow instructions and try to limit attention for bad behaviours like tantrums.

Positive parenting also emphasizes open and courteous communication between parents and children. This involves active listening, expressing feelings and needs clearly. Children want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If parents don’t take time to explain, children will begin to question the basis of parents’ values and motives. On the other hand, children’s suggestions should also be considered and be discussed. Children who participate in decision making are more motivated to carry them out. Parents’ tone of voice, body language, and every expression are absorbed by children.Caregivers can also encourage children to openly express their positive and negative feelings without fear of judgment, or punishment. Use of active listening skills also shows sincere interest in your child’s thoughts and experiences by setting aside time for listening, maintaining eye contact, and asking clarifying questions. 

Parents acting as role models for their children through demonstrating the behaviours they expect from them constitute also good parenting. These behaviours include empathy, respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance, and good communication. Children learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from parents. Teens, on the other side tend to look more to their peers for role models. Parents must continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing them to earn independence. A parent imitating a child can be flattering and send a message that the child is important and interesting. In return, the child is more likely to imitate the adult as well.

Parental self-care is another important pillar of positive parenting. Self-care offers a caregiver more energy, mental strength, and positive attitude needed to teach good behaviour. Regular meditation, active hobbies, quality time, and healthy nutrition are just a few strategies for self-care. It is common for parents to struggle with guilt when prioritizing themselves, but their positive habits and attitude will rub off on the child’s behaviours. Caregivers are also advised to take time out from parenting to do things that will make them feel happy and refreshed. Getting one’s own emotional state under control before interacting with a child is crucial. 

Creating a safe, engaging, and supervised environment is essential for encouraging positive play, experimentation, and exploration. Children’s environment has great effect on their behaviour.  Parents can change children’s behaviour by changing their environment. If caregivers find themselves constantly saying “no” to a 2-year-old, they must look for ways to alter their surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause fewer frustrations.

Benefits of Positive Parenting 

Positive parenting is a powerful approach that offers a myriad of benefits to both parents and children. It fosters strong relationships, boosts self-esteem and confidence, improves emotional intelligence, builds communication skills, and promotes positive behaviour among children. Using positive parenting techniques promotes a safe, respectful, and nurturing environment. It also sets the foundation for a healthy parent-child relationship that will last a lifetime. Positive parenting is crucial for instilling moral values, good manners, and discipline, which work even during adolescence up to adulthood. 

Positive parenting helps to boost a child’s cognitive development. Through encouraging positive behaviour and rewarding it, parents can help children to develop problem-solving and critical thinking skills. This can help them to learn to think for themselves, make good decisions as well as aid in school readiness. Positive parenting also builds a stronger and healthier relationship between parents and children. This is because it focuses on fostering a positive and supportive environment, where children feel valued and respected. This can lead to increased communication, trust and mutual respect between parents and children, which can help to prevent conflicts and promote healthy family dynamics. 

Children who receive consistent praise and positive physical touch tend to experience higher relationship satisfaction than those who experience more aggressive parenting.

When caregivers use positive parenting, they teach their children emotional intelligence, which is a crucial factor for healthy relationships. Positive parenting teaches children how to manage their emotions, recognize and understand other’s emotions, and respond appropriately. Nurturing parents are more likely to have children that feel cared about and likewise care about others. Positive parenting reduces disruptive behaviours such as attention problems, hyperactivity, aggression, separation distress, and externalising problems

Positive parenting significantly boosts self-esteem and confidence of children.  Encouraging children through praise and recognition nurtures positive behaviour, strengthen positive self-image, and build trust. Children can learn and grow better in a safe environment under positive parents thereby increasing their willingness to try new things

Communication skills between parents and children are significantly enhanced under positive parenting. Active listening, empathy, and honest communication can help parents build strong communication skills in their children. When children feel heard and understood, they are more likely to express themselves and voice their perspectives, which helps to build practical communication skills. 

Fostering positive behaviour is another benefit of positive parenting. Positive parenting uses a non-punitive approach that replaces negative behaviours with positive ones. When parents use positive reinforcement to promote positive behaviour, they create an environment of learning and growth. Through this approach, children learn that their actions have consequences and they have the power to make positive choices. 

In conclusion, positive parenting offers a nurturing and constructive approach to raising children. This is achieved through focusing on building strong parent-child relationships, fostering emotional intelligence, employing positive reinforcement, setting clear boundaries, and prioritizing parental self-care. Positive parenting cultivates an environment that nurtures overall development, adds creativity, self-esteem, relationship goals, and a good sense of well-being among children. A loving and warm parent who supports their children and nurtures their inner spirit empowers them with the intellect and tools that will serve them well into the future. .

Alphious is a registered Intern Community Psychologist – AHPCZ (A/PSY0796)

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