It’s cold out there guys !!!

When this seemingly popular cliche or saying was first coined it didn’t make sense to many, including me. It didn’t make sense at all because no one ever thought leaving the Gumba-kumba club will make anyone wilt like a leaf. Hanzi ukasiya musangano hupenyu hwako hunounyana sesizha rabva pana mai varo.
Guys I am not a linguist as you know, but that statement is packed. I can see some big guys are already feeling the heat . How can a whole minister sell coupons? So mumusoro menyu makangozara chikorokoza chete? HOTH was shocked to hear that there are guys who are contracted to sell fuel coupons for the minister. Baba vangu Chitova iwe!


Aaah ! Guys, I am not happy with this kind of behaviour. Asi musadaro imi zvinobvisa chimiro izvi. Speaking of which, I remember the grapevine which had it that one of CB or Centre Back who was your loyal servant through and through has a pending at the police station here in Masvingo for selling presidential inputs. Let’s call the CB Mr. Horns.
So Mr. Horns you were not happy that your boss was disposed. To be frank with you Mr. Horns your team lacked tact and it’s moral and social standing throughout the province leaves a lot to be desired
Ko pasix apo muri sei sei? Are you safe ? Someone was telling me chihure chobhadhara pavhitori apo. Are you the one who bought the Honda Fit, Honda Cargo, Honda fleece? As you know HOTH is not familiar with cars. Ehee ndiyoyo. Iyoyo yacho iyoyo.
I heard just like our biblical Esther our sister Dandy cake has a new baby in town. Hanzi everyone in town has been shown her undergarment because sister vanodhakwa reverse havo ivavo. Ko iye anomboudza HOTH izvozvo ndiani nhaimi? Ini sadungamunhu I try to keep it to myself, unfortunately my heart and my mouth won’t cooperate.


But ndombozama guys! But the moment I see these sisters of mine vachikanyaira mutown umo wearing Wellington boots, my 128 MB disk is forced to delete some of the contents but not before sharing them with other disks.
Ndikafunga mudiwa wangu ndikatarisa mufanidzo wako ndichifunga kwauri kure. Ruva rangu ndiwe chete ndiwe muridzi wemoyo wangu. Just singing hangu!
The team was or is talented for sure when it comes to scandals. So our outgoing and aspiring candidates are gun-totting cowboys. If you know you know what I am saying. Someone was in the headlines for wrong reasons. No matter what could have provoked you don’t resort to guns.
But guys no one told me that the other that other guy akazokungurutswa. Saka totomuti Mukungurutswa hedu zve? I heard vakakweshewa nhova wena. I am running out of words. Asi this faction inofana kuva nemoyo.


All the deals around the province came to a screeching halt. Asi makambotorab nyika wena. Haiwa makadya henyu. I hope they won’t take away all that you had amassed during your tenure. I am sorry if I have offended you guys. I am just doing my job.
Okay by the way, do remember our own heroine Uyoya? HOTH was minding his own business when he bumped into her sons hoarding all the young girls from the ghetto for a pool party at a local hotel.


The unfortunate thing is one of the organisers is our fallen heroine’s son. Hanzi iye Mutowejovo brought all the girls. I heard he is married and his wedding was a few years ago. Hey, guys you can enjoy yourselves or commit crimes but don’t blow our heroine’s money and legacy.

We will meet again next time while I give you what really happened. So Ciao for now.

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